Plans for Summer Hair

That is the worst title I can give this post but I don't know what else to call it. I have just started the journey to getting pastel hair and I'm trying to go about it with patience because I want healthy, beautiful hair by the end of it.

Before I start, this post will have many pictures and videos. However, I will have texts in between each. This won't just be a collage of pictures I promise! It is long but I swear I have good videos at the end for you to check out if you want to get pastel hair.

I have already bleached my hair (twice), toned it, and dyed it an ashy blonde. The last part was because I freaked out about how light my hair was. I essentially did like it but it was such a shock to wake up to it and I constantly forgot how light my hair was. Plus, my mom was just not ok with it. Even now, she looks at my hair weird when I have it in its "curly" state.

Now I'm wishing that I had been calm about it and let my hair rest for a bit before going over it with bleach again. But no. Now I'm deep conditioning it every time I wash (every 3-4 days) and waiting until my roots are unbearable so I can get my hair to a very pale blonde, basically platinum.

I mentioned in my last post that I wanted to get pastel hair by August. I'm hoping that maybe I can make it before then if the next time I bleach and tone my hair comes out the way I want it to! However, I'm still stuck on what color to go once I go pastel. Lilac/violet seems to be the most common and it is very pretty. I don't even like purple though.

This is what I've been seeing more of and what I like best. It's essentially silver hair with a very deep purple sheen. I think it's pretty nice but I don't think I could go with silver hair with my complexion. Even though this pale blonde doesn't go with my complexion either. I just don't like it for myself, if that makes sense?

This is also a nice alternative. It's a very pinky violet sheen with a very pale blonde color. It's almost like only the tips are this pretty color. I don't think I would like this color very much. I feel like it would only show in certain lighting and otherwise just look like an all over color.

I honestly love this color on Xiaxue and I would love to try it. She had her hair pink for many months. However, in every picture she put up her hair looked like it was a different shade of pink. Here it looks like a light pastel pink.

Here her hair looks much more vibrant. In a lot of the pictures she took in natural light or outside her came looked to be this color. If she took pictures with artificial lights it ended up looking like the previous picture or lighter. That is my only dilemma with pink hair. I don't want the fake, wig looking hair that might make me look like a hood rat that doesn't know how to do her hair.

This is a picture I see all the time on tumblr and always reblog. I absolutely adore it! Her hair (which might be a wig) is this perfect turquoise color, she has a cute pink ruffly hat, she's wearing a leather jacket with studs, her makeup is glittery and impeccable, and she's eating one of the best fast food restaurants. I would never want such bright hair but I might try it in the future if I ever get to dressing so alternatively.

Now this is the color I would want overall. It is the perfect mix between purple and blue called indigo. It would probably change shades depending on the lighting but I would still love it. Because it is in between pastel and neon I think I could pull it off quite well.

I love seeing colors like this but I feel it is too dark. It's like an aquamarine color and reminds me of mermaids. I don't think I would like it on my head though.

This is a color I would love to try! It's like a dark mint green, a very light turquoise. I might try this first before I do the indigo color. I love mint green and this seems like such a cool way to do it. I've seen other version of minty hair and it just looks like pale blonde hair dipped in food coloring. Very strange.

Since I've already done research on how to bleach my hair I decided the same thoroughness would be needing when going about getting lighter hair and then coloring it a pretty color. This time I decided to check out YouTube since I knew I would find plenty of info there.

Lots of girls put up videos on that site about their quirky hair choices, but I was able to sift through most of the demonstration ones and was able to find a few that actually talked about the process and gave good examples of what products to use.

This video is called "how to get silver, white, or platinum blonde hair" by xxmichaeljames. He does great quality alternative makeup and hair tutorials. This one was very entertaining (as his videos usually are) but it was also very informative. He gives you different alternatives depending on which direction you want to go with your light hair. I found this to be helpful for getting my hair light enough to get other colors and to get my hair back to a light color after getting such colors. This is definitely worth watching before bleaching your hair! This is also the link to the product he talks about at the end of the video.

This video is called "Pastel Hair? (and how to get it!)" by beckysblog. I liked this video mainly because of her energy and because of the products she used. Her method, however, I wouldn't recommend. She ended up coloring her hair a darker color not long after she had it done pastel because it was costing her a fortune. If you watch the video, you will see why. Her method is not the best but she did give me good ideas on what products to use and definitely what NOT to do when it comes to getting pastel hair.

This is my favorite video that I have found for pastel hair. It's called "Pastel Silver/Purple Ombre Hair Tutorial" by brittkneegirl1. This is one of the videos that are made by people who made all the mistakes and found everything out after already trying so they're trying to share their knowledge so others won't make them. She does ramble a bit and she does wear extensions but she does show what color she had the dye once it was mixed with conditioner and what it turned out to look like. She basically got that silvery purple sheen that I talked about in the first picture. She has also kept her hair around this spectrum since and her hair is very healthy looking so I believe her method (which is the most common) is sound. She has another video on coloring her extensions. Her most recent one is about coloring her extensions in My Little Pony colors (pastel rainbow I guess) and can be found here.

This video is very short but it is by the lovely snakebitesparkles. I suggest watching her videos because she has a variation of videos on all the colors and experiments she has done with her hair. Most of the colors are shades of pink or purple. She even has a video on how to maintain pastel hair and another on going blonde. She is very entertaining and likes to try new products all the time. I like her videos because she tries out almost anything on her hair, which is basically what I do. I've found a few good products thanks to her videos.

This is a really long post but I wanted to post about all my findings and my opinions. Plus, I need to find things to blog about so I can entertain whoever reads this. I swear every time I see the counter go up on readings of my posts I get so happy because I feel like I'm actually saying stuff people want to know about.

I know that not many people use blogger unless they themselves blog but I plug these posts on tumblr so I hope my followers there enjoy these things. No music video since I've put so much stuff in this post already!

I bleached my hair!

I bleached my hair over a week ago since I wasn't going to have a hair appointment for a while and I already had 2 inches of root growth. It wasn't looking pretty so I was feeling adventurous.

First I did a little research. I knew that with how dark my hair was, aside from the highlights, I could only use bleach to lighten my hair. I was able to find many videos and few good articles on at home hair bleaching. The article that I used on the day I bleached my hair was this one.

It was very descriptive and was set up for a few different scenarios depending on the person's hair. It even has a list of products to use while bleaching and after the whole process. I used some of the products suggested but I did my own research to find out what would be best for my hair type.

 Here is a picture of all the products I purchased. These can all be found at Sally's Beauty Supply.

For the bleaching process I used Ion Color Brilliance Powder Lightener, Clairol Pure White 30 Volume Creme Developer, and two packets of Ardell Red Gold Corrector Plus.

After bleaching I had to tone my hair. The article I got most of my info is a bit dated and Wella no sells toners with names. When I went to Sally's I couldn't remember the number of the toner I wanted so I just went with what sounded right.

I think there are five toners, T10 Pale Blonde (the one I got), T11 Lightest Beige Blonde, T14 Pale Ash Blonde, T18 Lightest Ash Blonde, T35 Beige Blonde. They have the same names for the hair color so you have to make sure there is a T before the number.

After some further research I found that T10 is actually Ivory Lady (yay!) and T18 is White Lady. This does explain why my hair came out to be such a light color.

This is my hair after being brushed out. I know it looks crazy and fried but it was actually quite soft. Looking back I wish that I had kept it that color but I freaked and so did my mom so we went to CVS so buy a darker blonde color.

I was able to find Clairol Perfect 10 in Light Ash Blonde. It just made my hair have a beige yellowish blonde color. I like it but I definitely want to lighten it so that I can have pastel hair in August. For now I am deep conditioning every time I wash my hair so that it gets more life.

This is my hair in natural light and straightened after using the Clairol Perfect 10. As you can see, it is still VERY blonde. I completely love it when it is this color. But for it to pick up a good light color I will need it lighter.

Artificial light and my hair is "curly". This is as good as it curls at the moment since it is still recovering. I like the slight wave though. It's a nice change.

Here you can see that my hair is a lot lighter at the roots and darker as it goes down. I blame that mostly on my root growth since it is easier to bleach virgin hair than it previously processed.

I also have a few streaks of orange on the top of layer of my hair because that is where I had the bleach for the least amount of time. Once my roots grow out again I will bleach those pieces again. I may use a toner too just to lighten up the color.

To get back some life into my hair I have been using Ion Color Defense After-Color Sealer and L'Oreal Natures Therapy Mega Moisture Nurturing Creme. Also for shampooing I've used Clairol Shimmer Lights Original Conditioning Shampoo, but I want to try the LUSH purple shampoo if it's still being sold.

Well, this has been a productive and non-rambly blog post. Maybe my next will be about my plans to try pastel hair and new makeup styles. We'll see!

Colorful Makeup and Update

I haven't posted anything in so long. I haven't been going out for anything other than driving class and when I have gone out I didn't really do my makeup or come up with a cute outfit. Actually, on Saturday I went shopping with my mom to get some stuff for the house from Christmas Tree Shop and a gift for her friend for mother's day. We actually ended up going to JC Penney and were so surprised!

I have seen the new commercials for JC Penney but I didn't really take much notice since they have gotten a reputation of having cheap, no brand, or just plain ugly clothes and products. After getting my mom some new bed sheets, we went to the second floor where all the women's clothes were. It was so beautiful!

They had that giant red square from the commercials, sleek white tiles and walls, a Sephora booth under construction and mannequins front and center with very beautiful maxi dresses. I basically would've taken the dresses off the mannequins if I could. When we got to look around we say that there was a display for MNG by Mango!

There was this beautiful print for a top, maxi dress, and sundress. It was the first thing I saw and I was able to get the shirt. There was also this red dress that was very conservetive from the front but once you turned it around you could see it had a diamond shaped opening on the lower back and was kept closed by buttons. The material was so soft too! My mom agree that it was very pretty. She bought herself a coral colored shirt made of the same soft material.

I haven't taken pictures of either of the pieces because I have yet to wear them and I didn't think I would be doing a blog post. I think I'm going to be doing these more often since this is the third day I have hit the post limit on my tumblr account.

I do text posts there now, but I don't see how they're useful on here. They're just little blurbs of annoyances. I would rather not keep bad comments on here (except for that post about my ex boyfriend). I like this to be soft and pretty.

There really isn't much to talk about though. I've been trying to get back into gyaru more. I still have my EGG magazine subscription (I've had it for almost 3 years) and I still wear circle lenses when I'm actually going out. However, my makeup isn't very gyaru. I don't like doing a very natural eye or doing something of a panda shape either.

I very much enjoy colors, even though there are times that I hold back depending where I'm going. Today I went to driving school and decided to try out a look that I had seen prettylilmzgrace do. The video can be found here.

I am once again subscribed to her channel because I absolutely love her makeup looks. They are exactly what I like to do and she's an inspiration. However, I did unsunscribe after what I heard about BitchSlap Cosmetics and found that she still promotes their products. I will never personally buy them but her creativity is hard to find.

Usually, all I see on youtube is everyday/natural/simple makeup looks. They're basically the same thing recreated over and over again. I already know how to do a super natural eye on myself and how to pump it up. I don't need that. So I will subscribe to her even if I don't fully understand why she puts herself in such danger.

Anyway, here's the makeup look. I only used shadows from the BH Cosmetics 88 Matte Color Palette, Hard Candy Stroke of Gorgeous eyeliner in the darkest black, Decolog Who's in Dolly, NYX blush in Pinky, Too Faced Chocolate Soleil bronzer, Revlon Colorburst Lip Butter in Creme Brulee, and MAC Studio Fix Fluid in NC40.

I really need to get my hair done at the salon again. I want to finally go all blonde and get my hair super layered because it is very heavy. Straightening it leaves my hair looking like a lion's mane. I have so much root growth too that it's awful. -___-

I just realized that the last picture looks like something in a year book! LOL. I don't smile like that in school pictures though. I just look like that HBC that if she smiles she'll just make all the other girls look ugly. HAHAHA. I wonder how it feels to be like Regina George. Must be something like how Kyary Pamyu Pamyu feels.

Goodnight, though! I can post on tumblr again and that's what I'll be wasting my time on for the night!

3 YEARS WITH 2NE1! And current anthem thanks to my ex.

Makeup that I recently bought and liked

I don't even know how to start this post. I've been procrastinating to write on here and I'm not even sure why. I could've written this yesterday but by the time I was ready (all the pictures from my phone had loaded onto my computer) it was 2 am and I wasn't going to sit here until 4 am typing away.

Anyway. Since my life is basically at a stand still when it comes to excitement, I'll talk about shopping, music and some personal crap that is REALLY boring, even to me.

I just noticed earlier that I haven't been shopping for clothes in months and that made me a little sad. Maybe before the summer officially starts my mom will be willing to go out and splurge a bit with me.

Aside from that I have been shopping for other people and for makeup (which has also been neglected wtf). My package from honeycolor finally came it. I got the Dolly Wink No. 2 Sweet Girly and Decolog Who's in Dolly.

Neither of those are natural looking, which is a good thing. I have yet to actually wear them out so I think I'll try them out tonight when I go to driving school.

I also picked up some much needed makeup products:

I love these setting sprays by Urban Decay! I had the original all-nighter but decided to try this one since I do get oily on my t-zone during the day. So far I've noticed that it leaves a weird film on my forehead if I just spritz it on and don't put on foundation. However, it takes longer for my nose to become oily. I haven't tried this with my MAC foundation though so yeah.

This is my absolute favorite bronzer EVER. It is matte and dark. It is a bit pricey but it lasts forever, smells like chocolate, and gives me nice color without making me look orange or like I sprayed gold glitter on my face. I do like shimmery bronzer but only during the summer. Which reminds me, I'll be needing to find one pretty soon. Maybe I'll try MAC's mineralize skinfinish in gold deposit. I don't know. I'll see what people are raving about before I go out and spend $30 on any other bronzer.

Since so many people swear this is a great concealer for a low price I decided to pick it up. I think it's a bit too light for me but if I put it over foundation it covers the darkness leftover and adds a nice light that doesn't highlight the circles. I really like it after playing around with it for a while. I'll go pick up a color up and see how well that works alone. Maybe.

Now this stuff is beautiful. I got in Tiki since it was the only one there and it would be a nice highlighter. It is SO PRETTY and SO PIGMENTED that I can't believe how cheap it was. If I can pick up the darker shades I will definitely use them as bronzer on top of my Chocolate Soleil for that extra dewy shimmer. I've used it all over and it is beautiful.

Also, since I needed a new eyeliner, I picked up this last Hard Candy product. It's called Stroke of Gorgeous and it lives up to its name. It's basically a felt pen and it is very easy to control. The liner comes off matte and dark. It is so perfect. I would have picked up the new Maybelline eyeliner but I couldn't find it in very black (which is the only color I will ever pick up basic eyeliner).

There are so many makeup products that I want to try. I've already picked up all the Revlon lip butters that I wanted, and I have two out of the 4 or 5 color tattoo 24 hour cream shadow. And yesterday I picked up the Illegal Lengths mascara. I'm excited to try it because of the "fiber extensions".

I would love to try the Maybelline master precise ink pen, Volum' Express turbo boost mascara, and the tattoo cream shadow in the shades pomegranate punk, audacious asphalt, and edgy emerald.

Also I'm super excited to get my hands on the new Too Faced Summer Eye Summertime Sexy Eyeshadow palette. The color are so pretty and perfect. This is the first time I have actually really wanted a Too Faced eyeshadow palette. I mean, I already have the Naked palette and they do so many palettes with neutral or natural colors. There's the smokey eyeshadow one that I really have been wanting but I could get a deal on one of those on eBay for sure.

I honestly have nothing going on socially. I'm not going to tell the story about the guy I met because that turned into a bust. I think it was just one of those things that came my way to help me ease out of the break up and transition into a better mood.

It's not like I didn't feel like shit after the break up and while that situation with the new boy was fading. If anyone follows my tumblr they'll see my depressed days and then my recovery.

But I am in a much better mood than I could ever have been otherwise. I have to thank my cousin for that because she really wanted me to stay away from secluding myself for a couple of days. I don't know where my mind would be if she hadn't occupied my time.

I'm also trying to get in touch with some people I haven't talked to in a while. It's funny that people say that you shouldn't stop talking to your friends because you're in a relationship but I feel like some friends make that hard to do. Most of my guy friends backed off once they saw I was in a relationship. It really makes no sense to me.

I love all my boys but only in a platonic way so I have no idea why they would feel the need to get away from me. Most of them even knew Steven personally so it made even less sense.

Anyway I'm back to talking to a few people that I've been missing, such as my unicorn Kyle and my old texting buddy Andrew. It's funny. I actually confessed to Andrew that I was super depressed when I came back home from college and how I was probably never going to be friends with Steven again.

Me and Andrew have a weird friendship. During junior year and the beginning of senior year I wanted to grab his intestines, rip them out, and wrap them around his mouth to keep him quiet. He thought so highly of himself and never knew how to be quiet.

He was part of ROTC with me and while we were hosting a week-long "camp" for the incoming ROTC freshmen the week before school started he would go on tangents in front of the groups, especially the first day. We had to cut him off. I almost threw a chair at him.

I think after a few talks he got the hint that being a pompous ass to new recruits was not the way to get them to listen to you. He improved over the year but I was never close with him. It wasn't until after he finished boot camp and while I was at school that we started texting him.

He's just easy to talk to because I think he's always thought highly and kindly of me even when I wanted to kill him. I'm pretty sure he was aware of the times I wanted him dead because I was very vocal about it. I cursed him out once. Ah, life. So full of surprises.

Here's a picture of me in my AFJROTC uniform:

Medals and ribbons galore! While I was looking for one of these pictures I stumbled across all the pictures I took senior year. They all make me so pumped to go back to blonde! I loved how nice my skin looked with the honeyed color.

 Here's a recent picture of me. Out of all the pictures I took that day this is the only one that is even slightly passable so here it is.

LOL @ this guy

I'm probably going to write a post later tonight or sometime over the weekend about my shopping and some happy stuff but for right now I need to write this down to remind myself that I still have something I can call a back bone.

This adventure started on March 22nd, 2012 and ended on April 16th, 2012.

Let me first begin by explaining that I understand that breakups are common and this is not going to be a sob fest. Instead, this will be a dissection of a section of the male population that seems to be missing parts of their brain or must be missing the point of relationships all together.

I'm not going to pretend that I was not sad at the time of the breakup. I actually have not felt as shitty as I usually would, even though I have been fairing much better than I could ever have expected  thanks to such wonderful friends and family members. But I am proud to say that I have yet to actually cry because of the end of this relationship. I do believe that is commendable.

Now, I believe I have explained how Steven has been my friend since last year and I actually did consider him a very good friend, if not a best friend. So, since everyone seems to rave about how relationships are so much better when you're friends for a while with the person before dating them, I didn't believe that if me and Steven broke up it would be such a shitty, disastrous mess as it was.

The funny part is that it wasn't messy. As far as I know, he didn't cheat on me and I didn't cheat on him. But who knows if his ex had some influence on this? That boy is still emotionally unstable and I really do blame myself for jumping into the murky waters of relationships with recently single people again just to end up hitting my head at the bottom.

Anyway, I will recount a different story that happened during these days later on this blog entry or maybe later on today after driving school.

After my shopping trip with my cousin on Saturday, we decided to plan a sleep over for Sunday night. I had turned my phone off that night before going to sleep since I had forgotten my charger and both my cousin's were charging their phones. When I woke up and turned on my phone in the morning, I had one text waiting for me from Steven.

My phone previews a line or two of the message for me when I receive them. From the top line I could say that he didn't say "good morning" but just "hi" and some sentence afterwards. I won't lie. I have been expecting a text like that since we decided to start dating again. And on a Monday! How iconic!

So I read the message and I did feel that cold feeling through my veins, in my chest and in my stomach. I was truly disappointed to read such a shitty breakup text. Wait. It was a text.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU.

This is really what I believe to be the worst part about the breakup. I have broken up with people over the phone if I could not reach them any time soon, but I prefer to do it face to face (even though that really does kill me inside. I mean who the hell wants to see someone's heart break right there?!) BUT COME ON. Are you really that much of a chicken shit that you can't at least CALL me or wait until I get home that afternoon/night and buy me a coffee and break up with me.

I swear. Guys need to understand that you are not sparing anyone any feelings. And then he added in the text to not text him back. BOY. IF I TEXTED YOU BACK AFTER THAT ATROCITY I WOULD NEVER FORGIVE MYSELF. I HAVE GIVEN ENOUGH OF MY DIGNITY BEFORE FUCKING BEGGING YOU TO NOT GIVE UP. I. AM. DONE.

Honestly I have never stooped so low as I did for that guy. I will admit that I really did beg him to reconsider the TWO times he broke things off with me. I truly regret that shit because I should never have to beg a MAN to grow some balls and deal with the hardships that are getting over someone and being with someone who is willing to treat you much better than you deserve.

Piece of shit.

I don't believe in second chances and this has truly proven my reasons why. Shit doesn't change. If anyone in the future asks me why I am so against giving people more than one chance to be in my life I will point in his direction. Why are you so special? I truly believed you were my friend and would care how I felt about things and that I could open up to you.

Funny how when I started to open up even more he decided he couldn't take it.

Well, I deleted the message and his conversation off my phone for obvious reasons. But I will honestly remember what he told me for a very long time because it unnecessary and uncalled for. I'm one of those people that actually likes knowing why people break up with me. I don't feel insulted because I don't believe I'm some perfect being that doesn't need to learn to hold back or pull some things out.

However, Steven decided not to actually tell me why. He told me something that he believed justified the break up but didn't explain it. He said:

"I don't love you and I can never love you and I don't want to waste your time."

 Waste my time?! Do you not know how long it has been?! A month and a half since we found that we liked each other as more than friends. A month and a half since you have been flip flopping on me. A month and a half since I have sat here and given you all my attention when other dudes were CLEARLY interested. Waste my time? Oh no, honey. You've already wasted enough of my time.

I hate when guys use that "I don't want to waste your time" line. Listen, bub, I know you mean YOUR time because I doubt you care much about what I'm doing since we clearly can't have a conversation about this.

He had supposedly not been able to sleep that night thinking about "the situation". This kid couldn't even call it a relationship! We were a situation, not a relationship. Clearly I have no idea what I'm talking about.

Oh but, listen, I'm so glad that you will no longer be losing sleep on whatever is that we had. I could never forgive myself if you lost a wink of sleep to thoughts of me. It's so very unhealthy to not sleep before a hard day of working at a bakery and going to work out. Definitely.

After telling my cousins, my best friend, and my mom, the consensus was the same: he is a dick and doesn't deserve an ounce of acknowledgement from me. I could be sad for a little bit be he truly doesn't deserve a damn tear. My mom had the best response:

"Hold on... he did it over txt msg??? So he doesn't have the cojones [balls] to talk face to face?? Sad, really not worth being sad for long. A man that can't say what he thinks or wants in your face is not worth the time.."

I love my mom.

Anyway he texted me Tuesday night around 10 pm saying "hey". Ok, can we talk about the point that he broke up with me Monday morning and he decided it was alright to text me not that night, but the night after? Why??

(La puta que te pario = the whore that birthed you. Basically cursing a person's mother, even though Steven's mom was quite nice I still dislike her son enough to insult her)

^That's a pretty accurate depiction of my reaction. So I didn't answer and texted my bbfl this hilariously frantic message:

"OMFG HE DID IT. HE JUST TEXTED ME AFTER ONE GODFORSAKEN DAY. HE KNOWS I MET A BOY. FUCK MY MOTHERFUCKING  LIFE. WHY IS THERE NO BIGGER FONT THAN CAPS?!?!?! THIS IS NOT EXPRESSING HOW INSANE I FEEL. FUCK."

Not my best. But I literally saw that "hey" and pressed the back button to my messages and wrote that. She called me a few minutes later and I had the only blow out. I also told her about the boy I met but that's for another post.

So then he texted me some long ass paragraph about how he didn't want me to hate him and that if I want he can delete my number and that he'll stop "bothering" me. All with "..." in between sentences to express sadness. I just wanted to punch him in the face. All I said was:

"I don't hate you. I just need you to leave me alone."

Then he sent one sentence to text him when I was ready to talk. MOTHERFUCKER.

I know this post is gif overload but nothing is better than moving pictures to simulate how I feel. Because I mean really?! How are you going to get pissy with me when YOU BROKE UP WITH ME YESTERDAY MORNING. Don't tell me you have the balls to text me the next day like we're ok but not the balls to see my face when you tell me that YOU DON'T LOVE AND NEVER WILL.

Someone needs to explain to me what goes through his head that he thinks any of that is logical.

 So yeah. I will have a good feeling and shopping post up later. Most likely after tomorrow since tonight's plans are subject to change.

Why my boyfriend is amazing and little something to think about.

Tonight has truly been a great night! Just as I was sitting here tumblring and looking like a crusty mess, my boyfriend decided to drop by my house to surprise me!

All I heard was the door bell and I got confused. He hadn't been texting for almost an hour(this isn't really strange since he did tell me he was with a friend so I don't usually expect him to reply back super quick like I do) so I was completely zoned out by the time he got here.

I barely heard any noise when my mom opened the door and then he started coming up the stairs. I jumped out of my bed and caught him right before he reached the top step. I was so excited to see him that I just hugged him forever.

Now. My room is a mess. I have two baskets full of clothes and my bed sheets were in a crumpled mess because I just couldn't care less. Plus there were cups and food remnants on my knight stand. It was not a cute sight!

But he was here for 2 hours. We looked at the two yearbooks I had, freshman year and senior year editions, and watched Get Him to the Greek. It was my first time watching and it was very funny. I swear my boyfriend is something too perfect for words.

Aside from this cuteness I also wanted to blog about something I came across on tumblr. One of the blogs I follow, ammarmali, had a very interesting post today. It was very long and I actually did not have the attention span for it today. When I am too happy, I usually cannot sit and read political, social, or anything important for very long. Here's the link to his post.

But this was about a trial about a Muslim man named Tarek Mehanna who was just sentenced to 17 years in federal prison on the charge of supporting Al Qaeda and conspiring to murder U.S. soldiers. There were three quotes in the post, one by Glenn Greewald (which I believe is the person who Ammar must have read/heard this from), Tarek Mehanna's sentencing statement, and the last from one of Mehanna's lawyers.

I know this probably won't get to many people because my blog is not popular and most of the views that I get go to my first post or the post about the day me and my boyfriend got back together for some reason. However, I still think that spreading this story is spreading this story.

After reading Tarek Mehanna's statement I do understand his position and I have respect for the man. Our government does hide many things from us and sometimes we just let it slide because there is little we can do. But revolutions are striking up all over the world. What is stopping a revolution from starting up in this country?

Our government is supposedly based on the people but it is naive to believe that we get all the information we want and deserve to know. Anything we watch on tv, read in books or magazines, or hear from real people is censored to some extent. Not long ago the internet was in jeopardy of the same fate. Even if the internet has looser restrictions that television and printed media, there are things we can't seem to uncover without getting into real trouble.

I remember when I heard that anybody looking up wikileaks would have their internet activity tracked by the U.S. government. One of my ROTC instructors, a retired U.S. Air Force Master Sergeant, told me that he actually went on the website to see what the big deal was about. When I told him what I had heard he didn't even seem to be that alarmed.

There have been cases of the government tapping into phone lines because someone or something lead them to believe that people had connections with terrorist organizations. And these is not just conspiracy theories. There are videos, blogs, articles, etc. that can be looked up online.

I'm not going to get into much else since it is late and I do not have any resources in front of me to credit anything I've been saying. So I'll just quit while ahead.

Romantic, narcissistic, and pointless posts will continue after this post has been published.

I’m a Loser

I haven’t posted on here in such a long time! Mainly because I don’t do much except go out with my boyfriend once a week and spend the weekends either doing projects in the house or running errands with my mom.

I’ve done some shopping (and I’m still waiting on my Dolly Wink lashes) so I guess I’ll talk about that and maybe anything else that I go on a tangent about.

I was able to get my hands on the Viva Glam Nicki Minaj lipstick and the Ricky Martin lip conditioner (for my mom) from the MAC counter at Macy’s. Okay, usually I have a pretty good experience with MAC employees when I go into an actual STORE. But for some reasons, these people that work at the counters believe themselves to be some kinds of special snowflakes.

The first time I went there to try out their foundation (yes, I just recently started using MAC foundation and I am undeniably in love with it). I was actually assisted by a perfectly nice woman. I believe she was around my age and since I had actually done my makeup that day she didn’t treat me like a 5 year-old playing with mommy’s makeup.

I told her about my hunt for a new foundation since the one I was using was pretty pricey and did not have the finish I would have liked. She found the perfect shade for me (for the record, my cousin had been shopping with me that day and had picked the same shade; she credits her few months of cosmetology school, since she didn’t end up finishing).

After she took off my original foundation, blush and bronzer, she put the foundation all over my face and even replaced my blush. Now, I don’t know why my cousin did this because I do believe that this woman, like any other makeup artist with certification (in my state you NEED certification if you want to touch a person’s face with product), takes pride in her work, even if it just picking a foundation shade, but my cousin decided to announce, quite proudly, that was the same shade she had picked for me.

I smiled at my cousin but the woman seemed a bit insulted. I guess it was in the way my cousin had said it, but I don’t recall the words at this point. Anyway, I don’t have to mention that the woman did not make eye contact with me after (she had been joking around with us and everything).

This time when I went in to pick up the lipstick and lip conditioner I just got indifferent service. There wasn’t even a display for these products. They were just by the register and the place was pretty jammed. When I asked one of the ladies if they even had any in stock (I couldn’t see the cash register counter since there were about 4 women crowding around for some reason), the lady pointed over to the group and I said I would like both. She just turned and walked to the register.

I think the dumbest part was that even though there were two registers she waited for the register that was currently in use to be available. I have no idea what those 4 women were crowding about but it took a good 10 minutes for them to move along.

I don’t get this aloofness from these people! If I had done my makeup and didn’t just have a lip stain on I’m sure I would’ve gotten a parade. It’s such a pain.

The MAC counter is right in front of the shoe department at Macy’s. So after I bought my little nuggets of beauty me and my mom made a trip around the shoes. We had to stop at the Carlos Santana display. His shoes are usually always beautiful and unbelievably comfortable. I was able to buy a pair but I had to have it shipped from inventory because I wasn’t going to bring home the raggedy looking displays.

I wore them this Tuesday when I went out with Steven. I hate how I haven’t been taking pictures of my makeup or anything. I had just gotten back into it and now here I am being lazy all over again.

We also bought a pretty cherry tree from Lowe’s. Me and my mom wanted to buy a tree that would have pretty flowers. This is also the same kind of tree that was in front of our condo before it had to be cut down because of damage from a tornado. I remember how I would walk home from the bus stop when the weather started getting warm and the pink flowers of the tree would flutter. It made me feel like I was in a movie or something.

These are two out of the three belly rings I was supposed to get. They sent me the wrong third belly ring so I have to contact the store. That kind of sucks since the third one had pearls and pink Swarovski crystals.

This picture makes me so sad! The big container on the right contains my diamond stud that I managed to drop down the drain! And after an hour and a half I couldn’t change my nose ring. So now I probably have to go back to get it re-pierced or something because I have no jewelry in the piercing. This really was a waste of money. That diamond cost me $45 and getting my nose pierced again will be $25 if I go to the same place.

Steven said he would take me to get my nose pierced again so I’ll have to remind him and see when he’s willing to actually take me. He said he would pay for it too but I’ll take out my cash before he does. He’s too much of a gentleman sometimes and I love it.

Talking about wasting money, I bought the Prince Royce CD digitally and also ordered it off of Amazon to be sent to my house. I also bought two books and the most recent Bobby V. CD so I could get super saver free shipping.

Something else that is super exciting is that I’m going to see my favorite cousin on Saturday and we are going shopping! I will be going to Sephora and maybe back to that horrid MAC counter to pick up some things. I also have to buy my boyfriend his birthday present since his birthday is on the 22nd. My cousin enjoys shopping for boys just as much as I do so this will be a team effort to get him a nice gift.

The weekend and some purchases

I've decided not to post every day since I don't do interesting things every single day. But anyways, today wasn't eventful either. I just feel like I haven't updated in a bit so I'm going to post up pictures and talk about stuff that has been going on. So exciting.

Well, aside from getting my boyfriend back, I haven't done much over the past week and weekend. Friday I went to go see a musical at a local high school with my mom. I'm no longer in high school but my mom works as a VP so she likes being part of school functions. The school was showcasing Legally Blonde.

It was actually a really funny musical! The girl who played Elle was not much of an actress but she had a very beautiful voice. She's only a sophomore though so I'm sure that with experience she'll be quite talented in both areas. The guy who played Emmett was a really good actor and singer. His voice was smooth and genuine. But the guy playing Warner was not good at all. His singing voice was shaking and all over the place. At first I thought he was just nervous, but as the play went on he did not get better. I was glad that he only sang in two songs.

Friday was probably one of the last days that was actually nice out. I wore a coral off the shoulder sweater from Delia's, some dark wash jeggings from Pacsun, and some dark blue beaded sandals. I honestly believe that I can't wear any pants that aren't jeggings. I'm so short that they bunch up(even if I get them short) but I still love them.

 Serious, far-away model look. Kind of a fail.

Smiling because my baby makes me so happy.

My eyes aren't naturally green. I'm wearing the Dueba Puffy 3 Tone Green circle lenses. I got these with a few others from Honeycolor. I actually really like wearing these, even though I have to make sure to use eye drops right after putting them on or I'll have to use them every hour or so.

On Saturday, my best friend came over and she brought over a few presents for me, two elephant charm necklaces and a Captain America shield belly ring. I got my belly button pierced almost two months ago and I hadn't changed my jewelry yet.

It was such a mission to change that stupid barbel for a new one! We were there for 20 minutes until my belly button was sore and the piercing was bleeding. She actually came up with the idea to use pliers to move the ball on the jewelry. It was truly stuck! I found these flat, thick pliers that I use for when I make jewelry. After a little elbow grease the ball was super easy to remove!

She slept over and we spent our time talking about boys and baseball.

On Thursday and Saturday I bought some stuff online. So much for trying to save money. After some help from my man I was able to purchase the nose rings from Freshtrends.com! He liked the larger pearl and I liked the 2mm diamond so those were my purchases!

I also bought some false lashes from Honeycolor since I was still able to get free shipping. I got the Dolly Wink Sweet Girly and Decolog Who's in Dolly. Honeycolor usually ships pretty quick so I hope I get them in time for my date with my man on Thursday.

On Saturday, with the help of my best friend, I was also able to buy three dangling belly rings. She gave me the Captain America shield one and two other ones that she got in a variety pack. I just really wanted some pretty and sexy belly rings. Steven says he likes dangling ones better too so why not?

This super blurry picture was taken on his phone.

I have no makeup on and I was laying down on his back so he took this picture from below. He's smiling for real too =,] I was in mid-laugh. This was taken the night that I slept over his house and we weren't officially together yet. That was such a wonderful night.

I really liked my makeup that night but that was probably one of the worst nights in a while.

Urban Decay's Dashiki in the inner corner and Lounge on the rest of the lid. I'm also wearing the Super Pinky Blue circle lenses. My hair was super flat that day too.

He's Mine =]

My patience and my sweetness has paid off. We're back together. In his own words, "I want us. I'm being for real. No more stupid shit like oh I need to get myself together." Love it.

He sent me this long paragraph that I honestly can't get over:

"I miss you so damn much. That it's crazy. Idk what it is but I haven't felt this way in a long time. I'm like falling for you faster than I've ever fallen for any girl. You surely are different. I guess that I was so scared of getting hurt again that I didn't give you a chance. I think that I've never had a girl care so much for me that it got me a little scared. I do really care for you like crazy. I want you to be mine and I really don't wanna think about [ex girlfriend] and I don't want you to think about her either. She was my past. And as I see it you are my future. And a good future for us both baby. But I don't wanna be scared of love anymore and I believe with you I won't have to be :). You truly are a different girl in my eyes and I would like another chance from you baby?"

 

Happiness after a Hiatus

It’s been so long since I posted! But it’s definitely been a rollercoaster for the past few weeks. I am no longer Steven’s girlfriend but we’re still doing couple-y stuff.

We dated officially for about 10 days before he had a full on break down and told me that he couldn’t have a girlfriend while he still wasn’t over his ex. And you know what? I can’t even be mad about that!

I was his friend during the past year and he did tell me a few of the things she put him through. And the more I hear about it the more sympathetic I am. He is such a good person that he got taken advantage of. I can’t be mad that he’s still hurting. So, for now, I’ll have to prove to him that I can treat him like a king.

I won’t lie. It did hurt me very much to have him tell me (twice in those 10 days) that he only wanted to be friends. But I’m the kind of person to just let a friend grieve.

It didn’t take long for him to start flirting with me again. I slept over his house on Sunday and all the time we spent together was magical.

I can truly say that I am in love. It has been so long! But I know this is for real. It happened so quickly that I didn’t even realize until I was in too deep. It’s truly everything about him that makes me want to smile.

His laugh is the most beautiful sound. Truly, no song can compare. His smile lights up my world, more than the desert sun ever could. Everything he says to me is never false or backed by a hidden meaning. He is so sincere. He makes me want to never want to lie to him, to never keep a secret from him, to tell him everything about me.

How else do you describe this? Every time we talk I hope that he smiles when he sees my name on his phone. I hope that he looks through past texts and photos and smiles to himself. And when he’s out and about without me, I hope he sees something that reminds him of me and he gets the same feeling I get inside.

Oh, I am so mushy lately! I swear he makes me want to do all these things to just make him smile. I am not like this! All I want to listen to is love songs and think about our future together (even though we’re not even really “together”).

I think that says so much about him and me! Am I not proving him wrong every day? We don’t need to be together for me to show him that I will be chasing him and proving to him that he deserves the best. And even if we are together I would still do the same!

This is turning to be the most ridiculous post. Well, aside from all this vomit-inducing sweet stuff I am currently spewing(and may spew for the rest of my life), not much has happened.

I haven’t seen my best friend in a month. But I’ll hopefully be seeing her Saturday!

And I’m also on the market for new nose rings. So far I have two styles that I really want. Well, three, but I can live without one of them. I am currently after a diamond stud, a pearl stud, and a gold ring. The diamond stud is for the April birthstone(Steven was born in April) and the pearl stud is for me(I was born in June). The gold ring is just because I think I could look even more exotic with it. As you can see, there is no real meaning behind it so there’s not much of a point in getting it.

I’m looking at two websites. One, www.bodycandy.com, has the perfect pearl nose ring. It’s an Akoya pearl, which is apparently a high-quality pearl from Japan. According to this site Akoya pearls are small and perfect for bracelets and other jewelry that would need many pearls. But this is just a nose ring so.

The other nose ring from there is 14kt gold with a 1.5mm diamond. The diamond is quite small is made specifically for discretion, which I guess would be a good thing if I worked in an office or somewhere where body jewelry is frowned upon.

The second website, www.freshtrends.com, has a genuine pearl in 14kt gold and a 2mm diamond set in 14kt gold. The only thing that made me look for another website were the prices. Bodycandy has the pearl nose ring for $39.99 and the 1.5mm diamond nose ring for $44.99. Freshtrends has the pearl nose ring for $14.17 and the 2mm diamond nose ring for $48.99.

I would like a bigger diamond so I want to get the one from Freshtrends. 2mm diamonds from Bodycandy are about $80 by themselves. I was thinking about getting the diamond nose ring from Freshtrends and the pearl nose ring from Bodycandy but that would be even more expensive than buying from one place.
Plus, I really need some new false lashes and Honeycolor has free shipping until today. What a dilemma. I don’t mind spending $100 on nose rings and false lashes but I really want to get the nose rings I like the best.

I also have to ask the silly boy if he still wants to go with me to Fenway for his birthday. Get out of work already so we can talk! I just want to have enough money for everything.

Trying to be frugal is difficult for sure but I’m not going to be broke again. No!